Too Cute for Words, but I'm Gonna Try!

This morning I have been trying to stay sleeping while the boy watched Kung Fu Panda on repeat, but he decided mommy must wake up! So he proceeded to turn on every single light on in the house.

After a few minutes, I got on facebook and was looking at old pictures. i found some belly ones from my pregnancy with Zacorro. I told him, that's Zacorro in my belly! And see mommy's belly now? That your baby "sister" in there now. He then climbs up beside me on the couch and lays his head on m belly and goes

" Hellloo babyy can you hear me?? hellloo? helllo?....i love you baby"

IT was the sweetest thing! He occasionally will come and talk into my belly button and tell me he is talking to "his" baby but i think he is finally starting to realize there is another "person" coming.

I just want to catch a BREAK!

I was working a decent job, with decent people make DECENT money...
Finally felt like we were getting ahead. I was even going to school part time.

Then one thing leads to another, got screwed over when i was going to switch jobs, same time, found out I was pregnant...so it was decided that i will go to school full time during this pregnancy.

My body had a whole OTHER idea.

IT would decide to be allergic to the baby i am carrying and puke up any and all stomach contents every day, 7 times a day. Nothing is going right, nothing at all, and I just feel so sorry for myself. I really do, because everything was going so great. I was booking clients for my photography, I made A's in school.. I just feel so lost and out of control of my life...

Effing Obama, I wish you lived on the salary my husband makes. It is VERY hard to live off a CPL's pay when I can't work, and we are unexpectedly, expecting baby number two.

Needless to say, I feel very depressed these days and I feel myself pulling away from everyone..I feel embarrassed that i can't, for once in my life, pull myself together every day.. i know life is hard, but I feel like my life is ALWAYS hard.

Is this weird??

I can sense the baby's movements but not exactly feel it? Like I feel the baby way back in my uterus and sometimes i'll feel a little movement, but if i lay real still i can "Sense" the baby moving sometimes.. this sounds crazy to anyone??

This definitely is different than with Zacorro, because by now I was feeling him alllll around my uterus and moving towards the front. It makes me worry because i don't feel it all the time, and maybe i am imagining it?? But i really don't think so.

i'm getting really paranoid about not seeing the baby when i'm freaking out about not feeling the baby move as much as i did with Zacorro. i know it's still early, i'm 15 weeks and 2 days...This pregnancy is just WAY different than with Zacorro.

Super Bowl Sunday..Big WHOOP

Yes, its that time of year again and I am just thrilled. Ok, not really. I can't drink, i can barely eat anything and i really don't care for either team. My family is in Maryland, we're in North Carolina, and my sister who is in NC too isn't even coming over. So I'll probably just fall asleep watching the game tonight...

I do feel like it's bad luck to NOT make Super Bowl Dip. So, I'm gonna make it without the meat, I think. Now, to get the husband off the PS3, stupid Call of Duty double points weekend crap..what is that anyways?

Anyways, with all that ranting done, I say the Steelers will probably win but I'm gonna have to root for the Packers!

15 Weeks and a day!

Its still unreal I'm almost 4 months and not showing. Actually, it's almost embarrassing.... i'll have to get the energy to take a photo and share, but I really feel like this baby is implanted very low and towards the back of my uterus. Just today my lower abdomen started feeling harder. I have the growing uterus pains, and lower pelvic pain real bad already. I've been waiting on my referral to go through to the physical therapist and it should be by tomorrow, thank goodness! My back is all out of whack and I'm hoping there is something she can "fix" to ease some pelvic pain. We'll see, because there are limitations now that I am pregnant.

Six more days till i'm FOUR Months and six more days till i'm headed home to Maryland ;)

I am not a failure!

...but i sure feel like one sometimes.

I totally fall into the statistics. The teen-mothers that give birth, conceive their second child with the three years following...check, and of those original teen mothers, they say that only a portion graduate from high school..check, and of all those mothers who give birth as a teenager, only 1% finish a college degree before they are 30...FML.

I was aiming for that 1%. Ok, I still am.

I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I am only 22 so I should give myself some credit here. But I just feel like I cannot keep my education on track like I want. Today I completely withdrew from school due to my "complicated" pregnancy. Its an action I felt I had to do for the best. As in, my health, and most importantly, my babies.
I was completely stressing out over behind already in classwork/homework/projects and missing classes left and right.

Growing up and acting like an adult means making important decisions. I need/want to have a healthy baby so I can't be selfish, I just have to let it go and be happy. Which I am, i already feel like a weight has been lifted, but I'm also disappointed. It is at a good time though where my son needs my attention to teach him and wrap up potty training. It's also a good time because I'll get to spend all my extra time with my husband.

On a more positive note, I had a much better day and even took Zacorro to the park for a little bit. Here's a photo, enjoy!<3

HG

Wow, it's been a long time. But this is definitely cause to start writing again.

I am 13 weeks pregnant and miserable! This is baby numero 2 and I have been diagnosed with Hyperemesis gravidarum aka HG. Its basically a condition of severe vomiting and nausea that 2% of pregnant woman develop. Lucky ME. I was pretty sick with my son but not quite this bad, and i ended up feeling better with him and had a decent second half of pregnancy. So far this time, I have lost approximately seventeen to twenty pounds. But not only that, I am completely exhausted and weak. It takes so much just for me to get up and stand five minutes in the shower. There have been times where I just lay in the bathroom on the floor just waiting to either throw up or fall asleep. My stomach always has pains, probably because I am always constipated. My theory on that is because, since i can barely eat anything, my body wants to keep anything it can keep trying to suck nutrients from. Hence, no bowel movements for momma.

So these days consist mostly of living off our couch. And getting up early for classes, which really stinks because I signed up before I got so sick. I just need to make it through and I really wish and pray that some people start understanding that I am tired, Im in pain and i really am trying...