If Your Going to Check This Constantly...

At the very least, if you are going to continually check all my accounts online for updates, you should probably start leaving comments or, gee i dunno, start putting on a good show. I am getting so frustrated with my "family"-in laws. I don't even care that you guys are reading this. I can't sit here and keep my mouth shut anymore. Not only does it hurt me, your hurting JUSTIN and yourselves. Justin does not need this crap from people half a world away. He is going through so much and has so much on his plate over there. And on top of that he had to leave his wife and son for at least a year! I don't blame him one bit for not calling as often. But me personally, i am so sick of this back and forth crap and no one even comes straight to me! It kills me because I should have known from the beginning how it was going to be and that no one can grow up. I mean, two days before we were to be man and wife, we were pretty much were fried at the stake but the people who claimed to "love" him the most. Not that we needed to, but we have proven ourselves indubitably. We are one of the strongest couples I know. We work as a team, communicate well and love each other deeply. We are going through such a hard time and I pray to God above every night for a change of heart. Its never about money, its about family. And its about love and care. Its about picking up the phone to say hello and not bitch about why I haven't brought the baby over so you could see him. I have a life too. I have so much going on. There are very few people who have gotten to see me since I've been home. My son's been sick and I am back in school. I'm handling it just fine now, I just am trying to prioritize.

So you can call this a vent-trip or whatever. I am sureee that people will be gossiping to each other about this one, or perhaps ill get a phone call about. I really don't care. I am just doing what I have to, to be as happy as can be with my husband home.

I miss you like hell baby...

RSV. Not a Good Thing AT ALL.

Respiratory Syncytial Virus. Its gotten the best of my baby boy.

here is a link in case you wanna know more about it:


Zacorro, himself has had a cough for just over a month now. About a week and a half ago he started getting really congested and having a runny nose. Then the past four days, he's had a fever. He has a ton on mucus build-up in the nose and throat. I know this sounds crazy, but once you do a CF project in Anatomy, it kind of freaks you out. Lol. Anyways, I made him an appointment this morning and I went to the office and they said I didn't make an appointment. I got pissed and I was like screw it, I'm going to the hospital. I mean they didn't even want to try and fit him in. Well as soon as we got there they took us back and started right away with tests. His temperature was 101.2. He weighs 18.4 lbs. He had a saline nose flush to test for RSV. He had a bag attached to him so they could test for a UTI. And he had a chest x-ray to check for anything that might be visible that maybe they couldn't hear. Pretty much the only thing that was for sure was lil man came back positive for RSV. && its making him miserable.

I hate having him so sick. Its breaking my heart<3

August!

SO if you know the military at all, you know that nothing is ever for sure, nothing is ever definite, until it happens. Always day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Its kind of frustrating sometimes. But in mist of all the bad news I keep getting, there was a teeny, tiny light that got to shine yesterday. IF ALL GOES AS PLANNED, then Justin MAY get to come home for a few days in August. We don't know for sure, but we already know what we are going to do for the time he is home. Part of the time, Justin and I are going away by ourselves, then we'll have Zacorro's Party and then, we'd like to go away as a FAMILY for the rest of the time being. We have already talked, and Justin does NOT want to sit home and spend time with people who don't want to except us as our own family. Anyways, thats a whole other blog that I need to sit and write about one day. I am just so glad I may actually have some event to count down to. LESS THAN 6 MONTHS!!!<3

Zacorro's First Day of Daycare

My mom kept telling me that I had to find someone to watch Zacorro because as much as she wanted to, she had to work. So after countless efforts to find someone, and a dozen interviews later, I finally found someone that seemed normal! She is in a convenient location and is really nice. The only thing is she is really expensive. There is another lady who told me she has an opening now, but we've been too sick to go and visit with her.

I was so not ready to leave him there but I knew he would be ok. I was busy getting everything in the morning and he didnt seem to notice how nervous I was, he just continued playing as usual...



As soon as I put him in the car he completely fell asleep. He woke up at like 6am and did not want to go back to sleep.



When we got there, I handed him to her because he just had to wake up right as I was pulling in. And it didnt phase him one bit. He was totally calm and relaxed. I had to make sure and take pictures for daddy..



I told her that he looves looking out the windows and looking at himself in the mirrors. And lucky for Zacorro she has a HUGE mirror as soon as you walk into her living room.



So then after i told her everything i could think of, it was time for me to leave my baby and go to class. It was heartbreaking, but he totally didnt even care lol. As I was walking away, he shot me a smile and then wanted to look at everything else.



Since then, he has done really well. I think its good that he gets a break from mommy.
AND before anyone says anything, NO i do not want you to watch him for me unless I ask you. I just know that there are going to be people reading this and be like, "oh i dont know what she wont let us watch him"... well quite frankly i dont want you too. Otherwise I would ask you. And I only need it for when i have class and i have that all taken care of. :-)

Oh Boy. Here We Go.

So Zacorro has been learning something new every day. He gets the hang of sitting better. He knows how to throw himself around and prop himself up. He is still trying to pull himself up on his own. However, he is starting to figure out the motions for crawling! The newest thing today has been clicking his tongue. Its HILARIOUS. I got video of it, once I figure out how to upload it, I'll see if I can't get a link on here. I look at him and I'm amazed at how much he's grown. I was going through some old pictures today, and by old, I mean like 4 months old, lol, of Zacorro. He looks so small in his pictures, but it's so hard to believe he was like that. He's so big now. I just can't imagine my baby growing up and trying to talk back to me and doing all the bad things kids do! He looks soo sweet and innocent. But, he has really developed an attitude on him the past few weeks! He totally has an outgoing personality and is sooo charming. We are so going to have our hands full!

That means the next few months are going to be soo interesting. He's going to be pulling himself up on things, crawling everywhere and working on walking and talking! Its sooo much, but so exciting. I know Justin feels like he is missing so much, and he kind of is. But he is going to have sooo many other things he will be here for, and the most important was his birth and he got to be here for that! I love Justin so much and it really does suck to be away from him, but honestly, I know God puts us through everything for a reason, and we are a very strong couple, maybe the strongest I know. We have so many things going for each other and so much love. WE may have to be apart longer than we wanted to be, but its ok. We'll make it through.<3

We Weren't Crazy.

“Looking back laughing cause they called crazy
We were young, we were wild, we were restless, had to fly had to get a way.
Took a chance on that feeling….we were a lot of things, we weren’t crazy.”



We've been married only 1 year & 7.5 months. And in that year, we've managed to accomplish so many things. We've grown up into mature adults, parents and fell even more deeply in-love. We are the only two people that understand each other fully. He understands my frustrations and i, his. We have learned to communicate better, and that has been the main key! I think we'd both agree our biggest accompishment yet, is our beautiful son. He is truly the light of our lives. Its gotta be so hard for Justin to be away from him. But I ALWAYS make sure Zacorro knows who his daddy is! :) But honestly, if it weren't for the life we choose to live, i don't know if we'd appreciate each other as much. I mean sure we bicker a lot, but what happily married couple doesn't? We've pretty much conquered the "fighting" stage, i think we got that all out early. And being away from him, well,it just makes me think, maybe I took him for granite sometimes. It kills me. I just want to be able to see him in person and let him know i'm sorry.

Our deployment has taken a turn, from a 12-14 month deployment in the "west" to sometime in the next few months being in the "east". I think you'll get it if you know anything about it. I am not happy about this at all. i knew to expect it, but i did not want to. I can't tell you if it would be happening if McCain would have won, but this is definitely by Obama's choice. I think im bitter because he wasn't who i wanted to win. But im just praying, everyday, that Justin will stay safe!!

&& on that note: how the HECK did people go through deployments back in the day. I mean, never getting a phone call, maybe, just MAYBE getting an occasional letter. That's gotta be sooo hard! I thank God everyday for technology.

I'm supposed to be cleaning up our room...so off to it!

I'm a Little Slow.

SO here is what I had to blog about last night & didn't get to post:

"Yea so basically, I’m addicted. I've only gone to two Zumba classes and I’m in loveee! I got to find a way to join Hagerstown's gym and take Zumba 3 times a week. I am vowing here and now to Zumba at home for at least 30 minutes a day. I got a bunch of videos off Youtube.com so I’m trying everything I can to be committed. And to be honest, I haven’t even gone to Gold’s in Waynesboro yet since I’ve joined. That’s terrible. I know. But the machines are nicer and the tanning beds are amazing. And it’s smaller. The only thing is they don’t have Zumba classes all the time. So I’m paying like $55 a month, including unlimited tanning at Gold’s in Waynesboro. And Hagerstown said they’d give me a good rate too. I’m guessing they’d match it. $90 a month for everything really isn’t bad considering I don’t have anything else to spend my money on while Justin’s gone. Yea I’m still thinking about it though. Its so frustrating."

&& today. Well today has been interesting. I totally forgot that I had to prep for my colonoscopy tomorrow. Meaning, i have to drink a bunch of laxatives and this other crap to "drain" (if you will) my system out. GROSS! Any how. So this morning I was getting my work done, getting ready to head out and drop Zacorrooff to my mom so i can go to class. THEN i realized, i never went and got my precription done for all that crap i have to take. So i had to email all my teachers, and i scanned all my work in and attached it. I ran to CVS and got my meds. Meanwhile I also went and signed all the papers for Zacorro's pediatrician in Waynesboro. I totally feel miserable. && i am missing Justin more than ever right now.

Zacorro is standing :) not crawling though. He almost attempted but he is alll about standing now. Im so proud of him.